A Query Helper Triumphant Tale with Luan Hall Pitsch

Today is a big day! Not only do I get to announce the first ever triumphant tale for the Query Helper, but the totally deserving Ms. Luan Hall Pitsch also agreed to be the first ever interviewee on my blog! And she's agreed to let us take a before-and-after peek of her query letter. What an absolutely fabulous way to kick off 2015! Thank you so much Luan for joining me on here.

It's absolutely awesome that you've just landed an agent! I'm so excited for you and so glad I was able to help you in a small way to achieve that goal. I promise we'll get more into that later in the interview. But to start off can you tell us a little about yourself and your writing journey up until now? When and what did you start writing?

Your generosity was a huge help. I’d just come off not getting picked on #PitchWars and I knew something had to be wrong with my query, initial pages, or both. When you offered to critique queries of the first five who contacted you, I was like white on rice, like pen on paper, like….yikes, I am the Master of Cliché. On it!

To answer your question about writing, I think the desire came from reading books that got me feeling and laughing and thinking. I came away with a different, ever-widening understanding of the world, and I wanted to be part of that written conversation. I wrote angst-ridden poetry in high school that will never see the light of day. Then, when I was in college I had professors encourage me to go on to the Masters program in English, but I was a single parent and it just wasn’t an option. Instead, I ended up working as a Juvenile Court Intake/Probation Officer in SLC, Utah. Down the road, when I remarried, I went back to school and got a Master’s in Creative Writing. 

When you sent me your query back in September, I remember your novel Nothing's Fair in Love and War had an awesome, unique feel. Plus, I'm a huge Jane Austen fan. Can you tell us a little bit more about Shae and your inspiration for writing it?

When you love Jane Austen’s books the leap to using one for inspiration is enticing. The social politics of high school today mirror the societal politics of Austen’s era. Popularity and the persuasion of friends leading to horrible decisions.

As in Austen’s Persuasion, my character, Shae is persuaded to treat her first love dismissively. He moves, and over the next three years she realizes popularity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Our story begins when Hawke returns. Shae realizes he was what she wanted all along and she is determined to win him back. Of course, Shea, as a character, demanded her own quirky love of war wisdom and somehow a stalker showed up too.

What was the hardest part about writing your query letter? What advice or questions that I posed during your Query Helper critique helped shaped the final query that landed you your agent?

The damn, awful, no good query letter.  While you’ll only see two of my query letters, there are at least a dozen others that exist in all their horribleness. In fact, when I sent the query letter to you, it had already changed from PitchWars and it was still bad.

For me, the hardest part about writing a query letter was picking those elements of a novel that will resonant and capture the interest of an agent. Something that says this could be a fun, exciting, provoking read.

Your critique pointed me in the right direction to rewrite my query.  One of the important elements you pointed out was that my sentences were too long, that they lost punch because of it. You said to keep my focus sharply on the mc, and make sure the stakes were high. 

I'm so glad my advice helped you. You've offered to let me compare before and after query letters for my readers, and I really appreciate it!

Query Luan Sent the Query Helper (with notes):

The Query that Landed Luan an Agent:

Shae loved the scrawny, General-quoting, wanna-be Olympic swimmer that was Austen Hawke. And Hawke loved the super-smart, covertly defiant, cigar-box saving Shae. That is, until the night of Freshman Homecoming when Shae stood him up and never spoke another word to him before he left for England.

Three years later Hawke returns. One look and Shae realizes winning him back will stop the nightmares that have plagued her since choosing family secrets over love. There’s only one small problem: Hawke isn’t interested in her slightly shabby, war-obsessed self.

Shae’s not about to give up. Battle plan 1: a complete makeover. Results: an emerald-eyed, football captain hottie (who isn’t Hawke), and a creepy, anonymous, love-note writer (who hopefully isn’t Hawke). Battle plan 2: tell Hawke the truth of that horrific Homecoming night. Only that requires truth, and Shae’s not sure it’s hers to give. Or if Hawke is still her war-wisdom guy.

Is she the champion of loved ones or the take-no-prisoners lover? None of that may matter when the note-writing stalker attacks her once, and then again, leading to a life and death battle for both her and Hawke.

My short stories have appeared in print and on-line journals—Southern Indiana Review, Red Rock Review, www.mendacity.review, and www.adirondackreview.homestead.com to name a few. I have an MFA from the University of Nebraska and I'm a member of SCBWI. 

How many query letters did you send out in total? Did any other agents request or offer representation? How did you decide to accept Laura Biagi of Jean V. Naggar Literary Agency?

Query Letters: Over 50 – this includes all the ones I sent before I got a query that finally, finally started to work.

I had other agents request chapters and the whole manuscript, and once Laura offered representation, there was a flurry of activity and it all made me feel very loved.

I decided on Laura because her vision and feedback for the novel were so stellar. She is invested in making this a novel that won’t only just make it to a bookstore bookshelf, but one that will have some legs and heart to it. When I talked to her on the phone, there was just a connection and her strengths in editing and balancing being both warm and professional are what I need.

What advice would you give to authors who haven't yet found representation but really, really want it?

If you really, really want it, then be willing to work for it, and by that I mean put in the time necessary to master your craft, whether that be in your own study of writing books, in going to workshops and conferences, or in taking classes. I asked one of my first creative writing professors, “How long? How long will it take?” (I always want to pin down answers even when none exist). He said, “when you begin to play the piano or any other instrument, how long does it take to become a master? No one is just born with the gift of writing. If you want it, you’ll have to work for it, years of work to master the craft.” Writing the Query Letter is part of that craft. And the hardest damn work you’ll ever do.

I always think of that poem by Langston Hughes. Mother to Son.  Here’s the last of it:

“…So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.”

Just keep going, just keep climbing. 

Wonderful, and sometimes hard to swallow, advice. Thank you so much for being here with me Luan, and allowing us inside your query letter changes! Everyone, be sure to connect with Luan on Twitter and Facebook.

Want your own Query Helper Critique? I'm giving three away today! Subscribe to my blog and check out this post.

7 Books I Thought Should have Gotten More Attention in 2014

I don't consider myself an expert in the literary world by any means, but I couldn't resist Dahlia Adler's offer for a free copy of Swimming in Toyko if we mimicked her post end-of-the-year post.

But it so happens that a little over half dozen of my favorite books from 2014 all had under 2000 ratings or under 300 reviews on Goodreads. So really, I needed to get the word out about these amazing reads. (It's no surprise that most of them are fantasy-esque.)

Gates of Thread and Stone

I kept seeing this title on blogs I follow and at one point read an interview with the author that peaked my interest. The moment I read the goodreads description, I was hooked. I even may have not mentioned buying it to my husband, who has a strict "let's talk abotut the books before you spend all our money on them" policy. Totally worth the explanation. I love the relationship between Kai and her brother figure Reev. Plus, the romantic tension between her and her friend Avan is so realistic, I blushed and smiled right along with them in every awkward moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Of Scars and Stardust

I received a free copy of this novel right around Halloween and was a tad unsure of whether I would like it. I'm not big into thrillers, but I have to admit that the unanswered questions kept me up late turning pages. The author can make a heart thump very well, and overall the book was well written. It just wasn't my cup of tea. Still, I think it needs to be read by anyone that enjoys this sort of thing.

 

 

A Creature of Moonlight

As I scoured my local libraries shelves for comp titles, I fell for the cover of this book. I checked it out before I even checked reviews. The reviews were mixed, claiming everything from the prose was beautiful all the way to it was the slowest read ever. I'm of the former belief, falling entirely in love with the magical way the author wove a simple story with emotion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Secret Hum of a Daisy

I also received a free copy of this through a contest. (Is the writing community awesome?!?) This is a contemporary novel that displays the grieving process was written in a beautiful, relatable way as the reader helps the protagonist follow clues to discovering life after her mother's death. I'm pretty sure losing my baby sister made this book sing to my heart. Either way, you all need to read it. Tracy Holczer is a emotional genius, or at least she writes like one. Anyone who ever lost someone can make peace through these pages.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mending Horses

This novel was another library find while searching out comp titles for my own query. I grabbed it because of the male protagonist and the connection with a horse. But this novel has a whole lot more going for it. Between the circus and the personal connections between so many characters, this novel is a page turner. It needs more lovin', so I command you to read it as soon as possible. Please.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ben Rides On

You didn't really think I could make this list without a children's book, did you? I'm a mom after all, and my girls love books as much as their mother. This one grabbed my three year old and wouldn't let go. When we returned it to the library, she cried and cried. I loved it because it used big words like "extraordinary" in wonderful, thoughtful context. And the anti-bullying message doesn't hit anyone over the head. Seriously, go get it. Yesterday.

 

 

 

Katerina's Wish

Okay, okay. I know, I know. Technically, this book came out in 2012. But I read it last year and loved it, so I'm including it. There is a reason Jeannie Mobley was asked to speak on character motivation and researching at the 2014 SCBWI Rocky Mountain Conference. This novel is rich with both. If you love a hope-filled, page turner I highly recommend it.

 

What books did you read and love in 2014? Have you read any of the books above, or do you plan to now that you've read this post? Please tell me in the comments below!

3 Surprising Resolutions for 2015

Hello everyone!

The last quarter of 2014 swept me up into a polar vortex and didn't let go until well after new year's eve. I even started writing a blog post about not being back until after the Janurary 1st, but it never got finished or went live. So much for that warning.

But I'm back in full force now. Despite the page of personal and family resolutions made in the last few days, things my husband and I have discussed and prayed over, I found myself facing three small but simple writing resolutions I'd like to make. I thought I'd share them with you and maybe have you all hold me accountable.

1. Write My First Picture Book

I've had a wonderful little story bouncing around in my head since November. My daughters inspired it and its about my favorite childhood activity according to my mom: swinging. I really want to decide on an age group and write it in 2015. Maybe I won't get to sending it to agents, but we shall see.

2. Blog Regularly

I really enjoy writing freestyle on this blog, and in some of my freelancing I've also discovered that I love interviewing people. I'm going to make a plan to start writing weekly in some capacity starting with this post. I'd also like to give you one interview from someone in book world once a month.

I've also been asked to contribute monthly over at YAtopia, where I've been a blog assistant for a few months now. I'll be writing on the 2nd, so be sure to check it out! The other bloggers over there are awesome too, so consider subscribing for everything YA related.

3. Edit Samana's Flair Like a Boss

I don't often use slang in a public capacity, but this project may require it. Samana's Flair was half finished on November 1st. I finished it and started book two of the Flairian Tradition Series for National Novel Writing Month. It's bad, totally and completely rough in every meaning of the word. So horrible, in fact, that I haven't been able to bring myself to even start editing or reading through it because I know I'll spiral into Dyshiwi like a native wonderland and never return to earth.

But its a journey I need to take if I want to fill a much-needed void in YA literature. My comp titles for this book will probably be adult novels because I have yet to find any Young Adult books that feature Native American elements in this type of story. (If you know of any, please let me know so I can snag them and get some research reading in!) I'm hoping to have it ready to go by contest season. Sadly, I'll be missing out in Sun vs. Snow but I'll be cheering everyone on!

So these are my literary goals for 2015. I'm sure as the year progresses they will morph into other things, but in the mean time these give me a target. What are your word-related goals for this sparkly new year? Please share in the comments below!